U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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