The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
