Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
