hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize