you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
