it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
God, I missed his penis.
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