dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
