READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize