I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
