Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
