I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
