It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Terrible idea I love it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
