i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was CRYING into my vagina
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
