i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
