Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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