I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I would fuck him just for his dog
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
