This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
