so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
