So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize