in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
