You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
