I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
