bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
