SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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