I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to have your abortion
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize