the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize