What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
