this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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