i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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