im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
