ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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