I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
