Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
