I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
