It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
