His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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