im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He shit in the fireplace
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
