awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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