He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
