my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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