My room smells like vodka and shame
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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