Kiss
Puke
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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