Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
