a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
