i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
