I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
