why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
