I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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