Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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