I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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