It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
