I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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