My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
