Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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