**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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