She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize