Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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