i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
