i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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