Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
