I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He did a backflip because drugs
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