The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We got so high we made milksteak
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Alive.
So much puke
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
