So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize