I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
