I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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