I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
