I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Your penis caused this!
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