Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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