so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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