He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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