Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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