i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
