Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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