You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
