I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
