My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
