My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want to be your penis for a week.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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