I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How's work?
Spinning.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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