come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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