Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
